With the increasing rate of divorce, it is crystal clear that keeping a marriage is not easy. While trying to keep their marriage, most couples are faced with challenges like maintaining their careers, raising children, financial problems, temptations, infidelity, differences in cultures and values and the list goes on. So what it takes for couples to stay married?
Stay committed to your marriage no matter what. It is easy to stay committed when the relationship is going well, but when the marriage becomes problematic and you don’t see each other eye-to-eye, will you stay committed? It is not easy to stay committed but you have to remember that marriage is a lifelong commitment. Living with one partner for the rest of your life needs a high level of commitment no matter what the situation is. There are sacrifices to be made when the relationship is not going well. For couples to stay married, they must be willing to make sacrifices to create a long-lasting and strong marriage. A high level of commitment is necessary for couples to stay married. This means both spouses should be committed to do whatever it takes to make the relationship work.
Do not expect your marriage to be perfect. Even the best marriages have their flaws. This is real life not a fairytale and there is no such thing as perfect marriage. Expecting too much from your marriage can be frustrating and dangerous. Putting more pressure to your marriage by expecting too much can be suffocating and your marriage may suffer in the end. The higher the expectations, the higher the disappointments and you tend to be less grateful of your spouse. Disappointments and being ungrateful could ruin your marriage. For couples to stay married, it is best to lower your standards and have realistic expectations.
Make time and be available for each other. The world we live in is a fast-paced world and we have to keep up with it but in the process we tend to neglect our partners by not making time for them. No matter how busy you are, giving time to your spouse is important if you want to keep your marriage. There are ways to spend time with each other despite your busy schedule. If you are both working, make it a point to set a regular date at least once a week. If you work together, eat lunch together so you can talk, laugh and connect with each other even for an hour a day. Take a moment every morning to sit down with a cup of coffee or tea with your spouse before going to work to talk about your plans for the day. Send the kids to your parents or hire a baby sitter and go on a vacation once in a while. For couples to stay married, it is important to make time for each other, communicate regularly and be available for each.
Allow each other to grow individually. Even married people need some time away from each other not because they love each other less but because they need to grow individually too. It is important for both spouses to understand that they both need to grow individually. Your husband may want to spend time with his male buddies and play their favorite sports. Your wife may want to have a getaway vacation with her female friends. It is important for the marriage to have a strong foundation of trust to allow both spouses to explore each other’s passion independently and be sure not to overdo or take advantage of this freedom. Although you need to spend time with your buddies or friends, your spouse should be your one and only best friend. You should spend more time and more memories with your spouse than anybody else. Couples who keep growing as individuals are more likely to stay together. They have more good things to bring into the marriage, making the marriage happier and stronger. For couples to stay married, they have to grow together as a couple and individually as a person.
Learn to deal with arguments in a positive way. Living with your spouse isn’t always smooth sailing, there will be times when you will not see each other eye-to-eye and arguments may arise. It is important to know how to handle arguments. Avoid letting issues pile up until you explode. Bring up the issue as soon as possible but choose an appropriate time. In raising your issue, stick to the subject at hand and avoid bringing up things from the past. Respect your spouse and remain respectful too. Do not let anger get the best of you. Listen to your spouse because if you want to be heard, your spouse wants to be heard too. No stonewalling or do not avoid discussing the issue. Look things at your spouse’s perspective to understand each other better. If you both can’t agree to a common solution, find a middle ground and compromise to resolve the issue. You don’t have to win every argument. Remember that you are arguing with your spouse and not with an enemy. It is okay to lose and give in once in a while. Being understanding and compassionate will benefit your relationship. Learning how to handle arguments can help couples to stay married.
A successful marriage is a result of two people working hard to keep their marriage despite the challenges.
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