I think most of us read posts on this sub about crazy in-laws or parents and feel great sympathy for the posters… but it doesn’t happen to most of us!
I knew things were going too easily, everyone was getting along.
It was my mom. As I expected (hello fellow RBN people!).
I thought about doing screen shots of texts, but I’ll just summarize them and quote them when I think it really matters.
I ask my mom if my Aunt does text messaging at all. She had just RSVPed and my FH still hasn’t met her. He will be about an hour away from her house for work and wanted to maybe do dinner with her and her husband. Texting is the easiest way.
Mom says: YES! Aunt does text message! Mom and Aunt are going to the wedding together, and Aunt has booked a hotel nearby. “Have you decided what you need help with yet? When you decide, will you let me know?” Anything you want from your registry, etc.
I say: Awesome! That hotel is maybe 3 miles from the venue and it’s super easy to get to. Glad you guys are coming together, though it’s a shame Aunt’s husband can’t come too! “No idea what I need help with yet, but I’ll definitely let you know. We put 530pm as our start time, but we get the space at 4pm and will do the set up then. We hired someone to set up the food for dinner and then break it down, but we need help with lots of other things! Someone needs to pick up the food, set up drinks and ice, plates, etc, decorations. So there’s lots of help needed! If anything I listed jumps out to you as something you want to do, let me know! Haha!”
Mom: “Whatever ya need!” (then more talk about the hotel and location, and says Aunt can help out too).
Me: Awesome! We’re actually looking at renting a hotel over in that area to make life easier, too. Haha.
Mom: Great! Okay, I’ll talk to you later.
Everything seemed normal. Everything seemed fine. Too Fine. No texts or calls until Sunday when:
Mom: “I am not going to set up the coolers & ice or pour tea, etc.. I am your mother, the MOTHER OF THE BRIDE. Certainly you can find someone else to do that job. I love you very much.”
Me: “Well that was random.”
Mom: “You are breaking my heart. I love you so much. Do you want me to find someone who can set up the ice and pour everything like you want? What yous aid to me made me feel so small and disrespected. Maybe it was just me, but I don’t think so. Sorry if I misinterpreted. love, mom”
Me (finally losing my mind because I’ve dealt with her shit for 30 years and it’s only gotten worse after my dad died) : “You clearly misinterpreted. You said you’d help with anything. That’s what need help with. I’ve had other friends and family volunteer to do just that! I was originally planning on doing it all myself and still might. I don’t know what job you were expecting? Something bigger and more important? I don’t think I have one of those. If you give me an idea of what you were wanting to help with (which, originally, you said anything), then maybe we can go from there. Nothing I said was intended to make you feel bad. I was genuinely excited that you and Aunt would be there, and now I’m wondering what the hell I’ve done wrong this time. Feel free to help with whatever you want help with. Tell me what won’t make you feel disrespected and help with that. Or, show up at 530pm with the rest of the guests if that would be better for you.”
Mom: “I’m so sorry I overreacted and responded like an idiot-child. Sometimes I even amaze myself about how immature I can be. I’ll show up at 530 with Aunt. If you need some $$, I’ll give you some to defer the costs of all of this. HEHAW HEHAW. I can really be a jackass. I apologize.”
Me: “I don’t need any money. Thanks for the offer. If you change your mind and want to help with anything, let me know. Otherwise, I’ll plan on seeing you and Aunt at 530. Thanks.”
Now, to normal people, this might look like she apologized. She didn’t. She (as usual) tried to admit fault by making me feel bad for her. Notice how she offered money? She and I got into a huge fight over money not even four months ago (she wanted money from me) and 6 months ago she got written out of my will because she had perfect timing (I was sitting down to go over the details with the lawyer, naming FH as the sole beneficiary and my mom as the secondary when mom just so happens to text me asking if she can borrow $2,000. I am not rich. I don’t have 2 grand laying around like she thinks I do). Money is a very very touchy subject and one that I will never touch with her again.
So, two months to go and my mom goes batshit. I expected it, really. I just hope it doesn’t get worse before the actual damn wedding, or she might find herself uninvited.
I’ve already had several friends (and my mom’s other sister) volunteer to be on Mom Patrol and will drag her ass outta there if she starts any shit at the wedding itself. It’s sad when people volunteer to be on Mom Patrol and also volunteer to scoop ice into the soda coolers, but scooping ice is so beneath my mother.
Sorry! Just had to rant! Feel free to share any crazy family stories if you want, or just read my tale of woe and be glad your family is sane (or at least, saner than mine).
(edited for formatting bcz I r dumb)